Something For The Guys :P

The Women's Rules

The female always makes the rules

The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

No male can possibly know all the rules.

If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

The female is never wrong.

If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.

The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.

The female may change her mind at any time.

The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.

The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.

The male is expected to mind read at all times.

Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.

If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.

The female is ready when she is ready.

The male must be ready at all time.

The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

100% gospel.

Amen

All Females are aloud to believe as many delusions as they would like.

To counter u Becca here u go Man rules for Woman

Man's Rules for Women

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and Football(soccer for the euro's here).

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Check your own oil! Please.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

Force=win, becca not so much

idk i kinda think becca's is how life should be :p

Force = New God

misa you are wrong, beccas is the anti-life

well the man and woman rules dont rlly clash only on the mind reading part...so we can both be right.

In a relation maybe and i gotta stress the maybe this can be different because some men are gentlemen

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. (only if it really is requiered)

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. (only when you are not looking)

Check your own oil! Please. (cause u will probaly do something wrong like trow sand in it)


And for this 1...I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape. ( a piramid or a cube is just to much work to do so round will do)

Logan wrote:Force=win, becca not so much

+1

Favorite rules:

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

Holidays are not supposed to be this stressful...

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

If you feel bad nearly as much as you say you do, you have a serious problem.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

I do not get this game... If your aim is to spare us a burden, you fail. If your aim is to make us feel bad, you fail. If your aim is to make us figure out what is really wrong, you fail. No one wins this game so don't play it.


Now before all of the women attack, I realize that guys do a lot of stupid stuff also and I personally apologize for all of the dumb stuff I'm guilty of.

Force of the divine wrote:To counter u Becca here u go Man rules for Woman

Man's Rules for Women

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and Football(soccer for the euro's here).

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Check your own oil! Please.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

To quote the old party approval rpgs "Naix Mccloud Approves +100"

hey the man rules clearly state that we are not perfect.
we are forgetfull, non sympatic,simple minded and non hygenic....BUT....we like it that way.

As a married man, all I can say is if you want a quiet life, follow the Girl's rules, or at least, pretend to and if you want a life of pain and misery follow the men's ;D

Art

meh... Becca's rules are kinda dumb... imo.... or maybe i'm just a weird woman... o.O

*nods head* you are a weird women :3 lol jk :3 or am i o.OO.o

i would break out the jokes.. but i might get clawed...

Toilet seat AND Lid down tyvm!! (lol that one is my biggest peeve and totally non_gender specific :p

oh kiera you have arms, put it down if its up

Oh i agree. But if its up, just put it down. I dont curse someone out for leaving it up, i just deal and put it down.

u know that toilet seat thing brings back memories for me. A friends mom once lost it on me the first night i ever stayed over at his house because i didn't know that in their house the seat went down. I was like maybe 12 or 14 at the time and i was like holy crap i didn't kill your dog or anything.

Well done Force.

Ali

Yeah, I dont understand why women make it such a big deal. I mean you should always do it as a nice gesture, but they make it seem comparable to genocide or something. Calm down, you wont get aids from touching a seat. Just put the seat down and quit ya bitchin.

Men's Rules

Men's Beliefs for IQ

lmfao
once my friend got mad at his girlfriend for always yelling at him to put the damn seat down. So one day, he took all the toilet seats and tied them to all her shoes, belts, and underwear and hung it from the bathroom light she whooped his ass xDD

Lol at both books. Briljant

By the way, Becca owns all of you guys, I'm looking at you Force, Darian, Logan, and Dam. I'll back her up with a curbstomp (Ooooh ya Logan)

Guys, and I am one I just play a woman in GW, only really ever have 3 thoughts in their mind at any particular moment; Food, Sports, and Sex. Using any of these as a weapon against us will only harm our relationship, so don't do it.

Buying something because it is "On Sale" is not saving money. Not spending money is the only way to save money.

If you see us engaged in repairing something, whether it's the plumbing, a lamp, or the car do not call us away from the task. It will only cause anger. The only acceptable reason to call us away from the task is food or sex.