Guild Issues / Drama

There has been some recent drama that has come in two phases.  We have lost two waves of people.  

The first wave was some of our international crowd.  Their leaving was related to timezone issues and player activity during their time.  There was also some connection to Diablo's departure.

This most recent wave was related to interpersonal relationship issues amongst officers.  I will give more information as the dust settles, but I do not wish to spread drama more than necessary.  If you have questions or concerns, please ask me or another officer.

I apologize for any distress this causes in the guild.  We will survive.  We will keep moving forward.

Understood

I dont understand. A lot of good people have left since you took over. Can we know why?

I will explain.  If you have more questions, please ask me directly.

Back in November, I had to make a choice between two officers who were not getting along.  Kitty was accusing Kara/Dragnix/Pheodron of plotting against her.  I had to chose who to trust.  It seemed to me that they were just two strong personalities that were clashing.  I chose to side with Kitty because she had support from Nai and Beez, and for a few other issues.  Kara left the guild quietly and without incident.  She did not cause further drama and trash us when she left.  However, I never really trusted Kitty after that.  Kitty and I never really got along again.  The distrust and doubt I had tainted everything we tried to do together.  I also felt like she was purposely baiting me with negativity to get me to react badly, and I was reacting badly.  I started to make a fool of myself.  I was not being very officer like.  

Other officers started talking to me and they agreed that it seemed like I was under attack.  I started putting pieces together and it seemed to me that Kitty was trying to undermine more than me.  She had also targeted other officers as well.  I realized that I had made a grave mistake back in November by taking Kitty's side over Kara.  I realized that Kitty and I would never be able to work together peacefully.  I explained my feelings to Kitty in a letter and demoted her.  

I knew this would send shock waves through the guild.  I knew she would probably leave.  I knew that Beez would go with her.  Nai had already left from the negative atmosphere amongst the officers.  Ratche believes that I have made the wrong decision.  He has also decided that he cannot work with me now and has left us   I really hope that Ratche and I can make up at some point.  I do not feel that I have made the wrong decision.  I believe that I have removed the drama from the guild.  Most of the remaining officers have decided to support me.  This whole experience is very painful for me and the guild.  I will miss most of the members who have left.  I am very sorry that it had to come to this, but it had to happen for my sanity and to bring peace amongst the officers.

Diablo left because I had to demote him.  I will not say why here.  When Diablo left, several of our European/Asian members decided to go with him.  They also sensed the tension amongst the officers.  They also wanted a guild that was more focused on their play time as well.  Andrea has started a guild and many of them have gone to help her.  I have no ill feelings towards them.  I have some ideas for expanding our concept of Alliances.  I will talk to Andrea about being Allies and discuss it with the officers.  I also see an opening to talk to SLD about possibly mending the alliance with them.  These two things will be part of my effort to rebuild.  

These losses have been painful.  I knew they would be.  There are a few that I will miss terribly and their loss alone is devastating.  However, the damage is not as bad as I thought it would be.  I actually thought we would lose many more.  I am thankful that it wasn't quite as bad as I expected.  I have apologized to Kara.  She has graciously accepted and has come back to us along with Aaron.  That is one really positive thing that has come out of this.

AoL has survived for many many years.  We have had upsets before and we have always bounced back.  AoL is a strong guild and we still have many strong and awesome people.  We will survive this too.  We will recover and be stronger for it.

Good. I have been through many of the dramatic times and there is no doubt in my mind we will get though this as well. It is not a few ppl that make/break this guild. What makes it as good as it is, is the many good ppl, not just a few good ppl.

AoL was and will always be like a family to me, I missed you all deeply while I was away.. but it seemed to be the best option all around.
I am hoping that now with the amazing people within, AoL can rebuild the greatness that it is VERY capable of!

id rather have beau that you release the info about my departure full so i dont have to release it myself....( i still have access both officers forums and lords forums)

I will make a statement about what happened with you Diablo since you have asked.  (You should not still have access to the other forums.  If you do, I'll have to ask Neoteo about it.)

I'm sorry to disappoint but my guild does not want to be allies with AoL.

Best of luck sorting things out

beau u can ask neoteo about it but even he cannot do anything about it .and imho just a statement wont be enough i want the convo released.

The Beau Brothers wrote:I do not wish to spread drama more than necessary.

Hey Beau, in my opinion the first post was enough but your second post says way too much and drops too many names in my opinion... Plus it's not exactly accurate... As far as I remember Nai did not leave because of the bad vibes among officers...

I was quite surprised to see such an extensive post made public when it was discussed in the officer forums that officers could voice up their concerns without having it spilt outside that particular circle. It was said many times, but now everyone can read your tale of how some previous officers were trying to take down the guild.

You seem to love refering to the Kitty vs. Kara event, which I don't know much about... But again, to be honest, that seems to be your go-to line for lots of issues. You pulled that one out several times in the officer section as well where the problem lied elsewhere in my opinion. Some officers were raising issues or tried to remedy to some guild problems (like people leaving because lack of activity in their time zone) and other interpersonal communication problems but that was your fall back point every time.

Again, as an outside opinion, if you wanted to avoid more drama (and it spreading to the guild), sending that message to Kitty and demoting her out of the blue without asking any of your officers what we thought about that strategy is miles away from the original intent of not spreading or creating more drama. Then Kitty left, and your best idea to avoid more drama is to apologize to Kara and reinvite her to the guild while she was on the opposite side of the incident you refer to... Again without refering to your officers... Maybe I'm being too practical in my approach, but I don't get it. If you quit smoking and years later you get a liver cancer because of your drinking habits, if you recover from it, you don't pick up smoking again (because it was the booze and not the smoking that caused it)... Maybe it's a bad analogy, but that's the kind of feeling I have at the moment.

Then you come here and write this long post about the "bad people" who are not here to defend themselves anymore. You write about the twisted people who were joining forces and plotting against you and tried to dethrone you and destroy the guild. You even mentioned before that you thought Kitty had jedi mind tricked Ratche into giving up the guild leadership. Don't you think that maybe you're going a little too far with that, sometimes? This reminds me a bit when SLD had issues and we all thought their leader was having a "power trip". And why did you have to write this long "blaming" post for everyone to see? I wonder what other officers think of it, and in my mind, this is exactly the kind of things that would explain why so many left and why some asked you to step down. Just think 2 minutes before blabbering to anyone who wants to hear. That does not really instill trust in my mind.

I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel here... I'm really trying to remember the good times and all that. But everytime I come here these days, I read something that leaves me dumbfounded... And this crucifying post in particular...

I wasn't going to get into this and I really won't talk about my feelings on this here.  but Yuri brought up an interesting thing.  When Beau implied I was basically Kitty's puppet here and elsewhere I was very insulted.   I make my own decisions and take responsibility for my actions.


And Beau, no one told you to take a side in the Kara/Kitty thing. I was GL at the time and I never did.

I honestly am sad with the things that are going on within AoL i care for it and thats why im here to say this. I agree that things need to change and maybe the first thing that has to go is the labelling of incidents. The Kitty v. Kara situation or the Diablo incident being examples - it is over, it has happened so you need to move on.
I also know this sounds a lil self-righteous coming from someone who left but shit happens people dont get along and there will be conflict when theres so many people invovled. But I want to say that constantly bringing back these labelled incidents do not help with the situation and honestly make it become a blame game where the loser is the one who doesnt defend himself. The blame game doesnt help resolve anything but makes everything worse.
AoL had been a home to me and things have changed that made me feel otherwise and thats why I left. But this doesnt mean that it cant be a home to other people. I honestly hope for the best for AoL that things will get cleared up and that you move on from these drama.
I still love all of you guys at AoL and I wish you guys all the best

P.s. this is my own opinion and is entirely my input. I do not represent my current guild in anyway by saying these things.

The drama is over now.  Peace has been restored to the officers corps and to the guild.  We are making progress on decisions without fighting.  My reasons and methods may not have been the best, but the results have been for the best.  I do not doubt my decision for the long term health of the guild.

im glad that stuff are resolved!! All the best guys c; <3

It is good to hear from you Ivory.  I wish you the best as well.  See you around

This is a quote from Nai about why she left "Beau, Nai says she told you several time she left because of you. NOT because of other officers." And she's banned from the forums to give her side.

It's been over two weeks since all this went down. People are trying to move on. Shit happens. Time to grow a pair and get over it. Love ya all, but holy shit. Can we lock this post?

Hate to be direct, I know i'm just a peon. This is directed at anyone still holding hostility over all that went down. If you're still having issues about all that happened and disagree with what Beau did. Theirs the door. We are all adults, except maybe Tommy. But hell at least he's showing a maturity factor higher then some other people. If you're pissed off with what i said. Say it to my face. I'm just tired of seeing constant posts in this thread about shit from over half a month ago.

Love,
Midway

Say it to your face?  seriously?  you come here insulting people then tell them if they don't like it say it to your face?  Well I don't like that, but seeing as how this is the INTERNET I can't say it to your face.  It was bad the way things went down, very bad.  But I have moved on and wish AoL nothing but the best.  Never pegged you for an internet tough guy mid.  BTW half a month, 2 weeks. not a long time.  feelings are still a bit raw, try to show some decorum.  Or better yet not call people immature in a quintessentially immature post.

Midway may have been a bit rude, but he is correct about one thing.  This issue is closed.  Those of us who remain are working together now.  I will not comment further on the past.  What is done is done.  Like I said before, peace has returned.  I have no regrets.  The only direction is forward.  Continually looking back does those of us that remain no good at all.