Den Mother on Manners

Hey all - wanted to throw a bit out there on manners - in both guild and alliance chats. Last night we had another incident that got me thinking all over again. There is a reason that I love this alliance, a reason that five or so of my buddies and I have done what we had to do (kept a dying guild alive as long as possible, switched guilds and built from scratch, etc.) to stay in this alliance. Because we are older, mature and like the fact that Akroma has done a SUPERB job of making this a place that we want to come and hang out and we feel comfortable here with the friendly atmosphere.

Now, that being said, there's always one or two that have to go and try and ruin everything. No one should HAVE to say this anymore, but what the hell, my reputation as a stern Den Mother of the guild is well established, and hey, I got irked last night, so here goes. Several points I want to make.

First, we all have different levels of tolerance for language, etc., that we find offensive. That's a given. You might say something one night and no one responds. Another night, you get a rash of crap for it.

SOLUTION: If someone asks you to stop, STOP! It's very simple. This is what we call Common Courtesy. This is called Respecting your Fellow Players Feelings. This is called Being Polite..

Whether you think its offensive or not is immaterial. Someone else does. If someone else does, have the courtesy to stop and at the very least, take your conversation to a private message or meet that person with whom you are speaking, and speak in TEAM CHAT. That's one of the things they are there for.

DO NOT: Give the offended person lip -- tell them they are stupid for feeling offended.
DO NOT: Make lame excuses like 'no one else was saying anything interesting', or 'I just wanted to see if I could get a reaction', or claim Freedom of Speech or some nonsense.
DO NOT: Argue. Just STOP! Take it private. Simple.

Second, I don't know what the other guilds throw out to new recruits when they bring them in for guidelines, or if they have any at all, for that matter. Here's what I tell all potential recruits BEFORE they are invited.

"We have a couple of guidelines. Be polite in guild/alliance chat, no gay/ethnic bashing, and let an officer know if you'll be gone more than 30 days. Are you okay with that?"

They must say YES, before I will send the invite. This way they cannot say they weren't warned. If later, a derogatory comment, joke, etc. is made, whether it references sexual preference, race, or language, they are warned to stop. If they do, fine. If they don't, we kick them. One warning, no second chances. We insist on a basic level of courtesy and have zero tolerance for racial/sexual or derogatory comments toward other members, whether they are directed at another guild member or a member of the alliance.

Bottom line is, it's not to much to ask that we all be polite and courteous. We all know how. If you are the one that made the offensive comment, don't be offended yourself, just realize you have a different tolerance level and/or opinion than someone else and save it. Stop, and let it go, move on to something else. Simple.

Perhaps I'm a bit of a curmedgeon about manners. I am fairly aged, compared to many of you, but I still don't think it's too much to ask

Let's all try to be polite and courteous. Please. One of the benefits will be not having to see me rant about this again.

Wholeheartedly agreed. Whatever happened to Donnilee? I haven't seen her in far too long. *sad*

I'm still here, kicking weird hours. I'm on almost every day though. And being a Baldur's Gate fan, I love the avatar! lol

Hope to see you soon. Didn't even see this post. Been a while since I checked back here. :O)

this is a great post and a subtle reminder to me thanx =]

*bump*

lmao way to necro a post xD

Probably applicable to read every so often.

I'm all for politeness and courteousness. I prefer it that way.  However, I invite you all to read some things about being offended.

Jeremy Statton: Offense

The Adult Version:
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