Member Concern: Krovavaya and her precursor woes

I'm sure some of you are aware that Krov recently bought a pre, just before the PAX announcement, only to see the price of pres drop significantly after the announcement.

Midway approached me today asking for help.

It seems that because Krov was so upset about the price drop, folks have been pouring t6 mats and other things her way, to help her finish her legendary, because they felt sorry that she was so upset.  However, he is reporting that Krov now checks the price very frequently and complains and gets upset all over again, every time, and has also repeatedly talked about just giving up and selling it.

So he has brought two issues to my attention.

1. He is indicating that if she sells the pre, it's unfair because of all the stuff people gave her because they felt sorry for her.
2. He is indicating that people are getting annoyed that she is constantly complaining and whining about the price.  Apparently both guildies and allies have been getting tired of her continuing to go on about it.

Now, as to issue #1, my feelings, and I let Midway know this, is that if she DOES sell the pre, it is up to the individuals involved to ask her for those mats or items back.  I do not feel it is right for us to intervene in such a matter, as it is a private trade, and those individuals chose to give her materials or whatever of their own free will.  The best they can do, if she refuses, is chalk it up to lesson learned.

However, for issue #2, I was a bit on the fence.  On the one hand, I thought a gentle chat with her coming from a close friend would do better than a chat from an officer.  On the other, we are here to intervene when members do not feel comfortable doing so themselves on matters that relate to overall internal and external relations.  

In discussing this with Midway, he indicated that he does not think anyone who is involved would feel comfortable speaking up, as Krov is known to be volatile and would likely see this as criticism and react poorly. I asked him to give me a couple of days to figure out a solution.

I happened to already be talking to Beez so I floated it past her, and she has convinced me to listen to my other hand, which says an officer should intervene.  What we have here is a member of the guild felt the issue was sensitive enough that he should talk to a Lord for advice, and has indicated that several individuals have taken issue with the situation.  She had recommended some wording that we could use, to be as gentle as possible about it, but I will let her share that with you.

I think we should talk to her sooner rather than later, but wanted to throw it up here first.  Either myself or Beez can do it, unless someone else here has a VERY good established rapport with her.

Also, as an aside, we'd need to get her to mark herself "Online" so we can actually talk to her, since she usually only goes "Online" when needing to ask someone a question, then goes back to "Offline" immediately afterwards, and claims it's a "glitch" ... asking her to go "online" would risk her seeing it as calling her a liar (about it being a "glitch") then ...

Yeah I think if people are at the point where they're coming to lords for help, then it's our job to fix it.

I was just thinking a little thing like "Listen, I know you're upset, anybody would be. But people are genuinely trying to help you and it looks like you don't care and are not grateful for what they give when you continue to talk about the price constantly and talk about selling it"

Also maybe adding that it was worth the price to her at the time, so she should concentrate on finishing it, instead of concentrating on how much people are paying for it now.

I don't know, something like that.

I just woke up so my grammar is weird...

Im upset that I cant afford a pre, wheres my gold..

I think she just needs to suck it up that she lost some bit of gold. I dont think she'll sell it.. its only going to harm her even more by selling it imo. Its not her fault that she didnt know they would drop, but whats done is done and you cant go back in time. and for the guildies I know they wanted to help and for her to throw it out, idk its probably the way I was raised but I feel its wrong to ask for your things back when you gave them away.

I dont think we should bring it up to her straight forward and maybe have a friend of hers to convince her to end up making the legendary? If she sold it, then idk

I agree with the suck it up comment. I've lost gold on things tons of times being impatient...I just feel like she's being disrespectful to the people who are trying to help her..though I'm hearing all of this second hand. Or third hand really

I agree that she needs to suck it up.  When we buy things IRL and they go on sale a week later, we get a little annoyed, but then we move on because there's nothing we can do.

The problem we have right now is that people seem to be getting annoyed by her continual complaining, and nobody wants to say anything to her, so someone has come to me instead, asking for help, because they are afraid that she will blow up at them if they say anything.

I don't use TS ... can anyone confirm how often this is happening?

That's basically the big thing that officers and lords still do, so I think we should probably make sure it gets handled.

Nobody's suggesting being all LISTEN BITCH SUCK IT UP AND STFU

It needs to be a respectful interaction on both sides.

I have not been on Teamspeak as much as I used to during the week, so I cannot say I've witnessed her complaining too much.  The last time I was on I do not remember her saying anything about it.  I sent her some lodestones and she gave me a very sincere thank you, and did not make any complaint.  Personally, if she does sell it that would not bother me (as far as the materials I gave away).

Tia, Verdant, and myself are the only officers who regularly use teamspeak, so we would probably be the ones who know her best.  I can have a talk with her.  I'll check with Midway and see if she is still going on about it.

To be clear, I think we should only be intervening on the issue that she is continually complaining in a way that appears to be disruptive.

I do NOT think we should get involved in her decision to sell or not to sell, nor should we be involved in her reimbursement of donated items.

I've had a talk with Krov.  She did not get angry.  She did seem upset and hurt.  She wants to know who complained so she can talk to them and apologize.  I said I didn't think I should say.  

She seemed really upset that people are thinking bad of her or looking at her "sideways" now.  (her word).  

I just told her that some people were grumbling to the officers about how much she was complaining about the pre-cursor issue.  I asked her just to please back off on it a little, especially talk of selling it.  I also asked that if she does decide to sell it I would not talk about that at all.

I can post screenshots my conversation if you like.

She came directly to me after talking to Beau it seems, so I invited Beau to have a 3-way convo with her, since he was the one that originally spoke to her. I will summarize later tonight.

Krov logged off of Teamspeak, and neither Midway nor Shahar were on (only Ally I can think of that uses Teamspeak regularly now).  So, I decided to test the water.  I probably should have done this first.

Nobody on seemed to be upset or even care about Krov's complaining.  They even said that they would tease her about it and egg her on.  Sounds like others probably brought out the complaining by reminding her or or teasing her about it.  Like... "Oh look at the price now!"  

I would be interested in who other than Midway was upset by this.

Yeah I was hoping someone who spent more time on TS would know more about this and weigh in on here before we talked to her. <3

Still though ... there are at least some who find her unapproachable and rather confrontational ... so at the very least that's not imagination ...

Sweet, im glad this worked out without any unneeded trouble

I have some thoughts for why people may have that thought/impression of her.

1) She is usually pretty strong about her opinions/thoughts about something when she's involved (though it hasn't ever been in an intimidating manner from my observations).

2) For the offline/online thing; I think it could be a legitimate issue, but if she's having no issues with any other form of chat (party or otherwise), then I'd like to point to...
2b) She actively (and makes it known) ignores guild chat (or straight has it turned off) so I wouldn't be surprised if she is just marking herself offline while she reps TTS and uses TS to do actual communication with whomever. Not exact words but those were her own statements/example on TS a while back.

3) Not a real issue but she has gotten a tad cranky over misunderstandings with dungeon runs a couple times (not really at anyone but still).

I love our guild chat, but I don't blame someone for not wanting to see the flood of random crap that flows through chat sometimes.  Some people just do not like that kind of chat.