Guildies discouraging guildies from doing dungeons/fractals

I know there are several things that we will need to discuss as officers from Midway's post, and I think some of them should be addressed as separate issues. So I thought I'd put this one on the table for now. Obviously we don't want to get inundated with too many topics at once, so I'm introducing only one, myself, for now!

Source: https://lightness.forumotion.com/t5963-important-please-give-it-a-good-read

Midway wrote:if someone is trying to get other guildies to join in on a dungeon/fractal. Please don't try to talk someone into NOT going. It's very rude.

Personally, I've seen this. If someone can refresh my memory, I think the most recent one was (I *think*) Mel telling Nix (??), in a very pushy way, to stay in SW instead of going into a dungeon with other guildies? I don't remember the outcome, but I agree with Midway that it was rude of Mel (or ANY guildie) to actively discourage like this. (Sorry if I have the people mixed up)

I didn't say anything to Mel at the time, but I think this kind of occurrence warrants a little discussion here, so we know what direction, if any, we want to take in the future.

Do we want to ignore and let it takes it's course?

Or do we want to give a quick (and friendly) whisper to the offending person, just to ask them to ease up on the pressure a little?

Is it any of our business?

Ramble over. I'm hoping I can hear some thoughts/opinions.

Just in relation to this... I don't remember this happening? And generally I don't let anyone talk me out of doing anything.. and I tend to avoid letting other people try to do this too.
I think this is a very concerning issue and I have noticed this myself...
In saying that.. on the other side I have seen people being quite bullied into doing something with a guildie and even being told no, kept pushing and harassing the person until they felt like they had to log off and leave TS, or even the game.

Yeah I could be totally wrong about her trying to convince you, specifically.  It might have been someone else.  There were a lot of guildies in SW at that time.

And I agree with the pressure in the other direction too. It's one thing to do a little gentle ribbing, but it gets pushed too far sometimes.

I'm guilty of a less direct version of this ("fractals are poo") ...I'll try to watch myself from now on, it is a good point.

In terms of your question though, I'd say if it doesn't seem like joking maybe just keep an eye on it? I am not comfortable with the idea of censorship in general.

Of course Beez, if we censored you, what would you say other than "OMG" and hearts?

On topic... We have all probably done a minor version of both of what was mentioned here. I say that having seen myself and most of us put minor pressure on people in the past in /gc. Bear in mind that most of the officers have done it in fun, but if someone didn't know that we had developed a relationship for years, it could *appear* like more.

We might need to be more cognizent.

I'm more than just OMG and hearts! I'm also poop jokes and immature 12-year-old humor!

Midway complained to me last week about guildies discouraging him (and Tommy I think?) with doing dungeons and/or fractals.

Another issue I see a LOT is when someone is asking if anyone will do a dungeon and they get told to go LFG it. Honestly, most people know they can LFG without being told to, but sometimes guild members (including myself) would prefer to have guildies doing the dungeon or fractals with them. If no one joins then they can LFG after getting no responses or wait for another time when members are more willing to join. They really don't need to be told to go LFG, because that in and of itself can be extremely discouraging.

Sometimes all a person is trying to do is get guild members for the sake of hanging out with guild members in dungeons/fractals. Not everyone is into, "let's see how fast I can get a group to get this dungeon done and over with faster." I even have a quite recent example of this.

Last week, I went to help Aaron  out with CoF p1, and he specifically wanted to do CoF with guild members just to get more guildies to do something together (you can correct me if I'm wrong, Aaron). Then he get's told to LFG it. All of us in the party knew we could do a LFG. We weren't in some hurry to get CoF done, we just wanted to get more members involved. In fact, we actually were going to LFG the last two people, but Krov wanted to join and needed like 20 minutes or so and we were all willing to wait. During that time so we happened to get another member.

So I just want to say please let's not discourage our guild members by telling our members to go do a Looking For Group.

I like Nai's response to this probably the best.  That is the same way I operate.  I have not really witnessed this that I am am aware.  At least not on the heavy side.  I've witnessed the minor stuff like Beez admitting that she says stuff like "Fractals are Poo".  But, I was told about a situation that bothered me a bit.  

We just need to keep an eye on it, and be careful in our own interactions.  The situation I heard about was someone giving heavy handed misplaced advice.  I think he had the best interest of the person involved, but it was unnecessarily and negative in it's delivery.  He probably should have just been politely told to STFU.  A whisper would have been good.

Bullying either way should be discouraged.  I really don't understand at all why someone would bully someone into not doing something.  But, we should be careful not to twist peoples arms into doing stuff too.

I tell people to lfg IF they've been asking for over 15 mins and gotten no response whatsoever indicating people want to join.  I think that fishing around for people to dungeon should only go so far and for so long before you're wasting time forming a party and it eventually breaks apart.  In my opinion, if people don't want it, aren't interested in doing it, they'd drag down the party from people who want to do it and are willing to put the time and effort into making it go well.

Sometimes, I am just not in a hurry. If other members of the party are not really caring like me, and know how to entertain themselves doing other things, I would prefer to wait for a full guild group even if it takes an hour. I only use LFG if I want to do it fast, or if other members of the party don't want to wait.

I guess the moral from the two posts above is that it's a case-by-case basis type of thing?

Sure, or develop friendships within the guild (or not) that would respond readily to whispers.  I have a few friends myself that I whisper and get immediate responses to.

But asking many times in guild with zero responses probably would be detrimental to forming groups in the long run, as it doesn't much encourage people that this is a thing we do.

Good point