Nytri

I've been approached that he has been annoying people again, I know the kid really can get on my nerves at time and apparently its becoming a problem again. As in some people don't care to be on TS when he is there. Have any of you heard anything or seen anything? I'm gonna need specifics if I talk to him, or if any of you are friendly with him it may be better coming from a friend.

Have not heard anything bad so far... He's been pretty quiet as far as I know.

He has just been his usual self really from what I have noticed.. yes he gets kinda annoying coz he has a very strong opinion on EVERYTHING and never shuts up... but he is a decent enough guy IMO. I can kinda see why people would not want to get on TS sometimes coz he can be a little.. overbearing.

I have not heard any new complaints.  However, I do change channels sometimes when he is on. But, lately I go to a quiet channel sometimes anyway. Too much chatter makes my head hurt.

Same as Kara and Beau
Have no real issues apart from needing some Radio quiet time on occasion

I too have become more accustomed to Nytri. When he drinks he can really get on my nerves but I have to say overall he is a nice guy, just too talkative. I can say I have gotten frustrated and let the occasional comment slip when he hasnt been there but he's never been been mean, maybe a bit contrary. Perhaps he just needs to be reminded he doesnt need to speak simply because he's on Teamspeak?

he hasn't changed from what i'm reading and from my experiences.  The question is more, what should we do to people like this that we want them to change to be more socially acceptable to the majority, but they will not/do not change.

that is a good question tia, I think he needs to be talked to, but I would like to get specifics before I do since I haven't seen him bothering other people lately.

I'm resurrecting this thread.

Midway has approached me and asked for advice. He finds nytri very annoying on TS, especially when he pvps, and he has noticed that other guild members try to avoid him during pvp. Once even going so far as to chat in the mapping channel so he wouldn't know they were pvp'ing.

He doesn't want to be rude and tell him to stop, but he's at the point where he's had to put nytri on ignore in the past, for giving him a migraine, ouch.

Unfortunately I'm not in a position to ask for specifics right now, as I should have been in bed two hours ago. But I don't think Midway has specific examples anyways. I think it's just an overall exasperation (right word? wrong word? it's late, can't brain) that has led him to ts ignore now.

I told him I would bring it up with the other officers, and see if someone who has an established rapport with nytri can have a little chat with him or something. I think it would come better from someone who he knows. I have very limited interaction with him, so I'm probably not the right person to have that chat with him.

I don't think it's bad that he's chatty, but it sounds like he's very hard to handle when he's pvping, specifically that he gets agitated, and I think the agitation is what is causing problems. So tia makes a good point about "what should we do with people who we want to be more socially acceptable," but I think at the very least, we are not in the wrong to ask him to ease up on the agitation, since it seems to be disrupting teamspeak still.

I've heard Krov complain about Nytri in TS..but I don't interact with him so I don't know much about the whole situation

Perhaps an official warning on eitcate?
If the Guildies are avoiding him to the point of using map chat something needs to be addressed.
My 50 cents worth :3

He only seems to be real bad when he is drinking, but that can be often. Kainis doesn't mind him, but I do tend to avoid him myself. I've had a few chats with him and have snapped at him a few times. He doesn't like me much anymore.

I think that's where we have a problem.  I mean, now we're at the point where some of us in the officer circle are admitting that we avoid him (I pretty much avoid him. I've heard some other officers say the same, whether here or in game).  And we're hearing from other members that they are changing their behaviour or gameplay in order to avoid him.

While we don't necessarily want to force anyone to act how we would like, if someone is causing this kind of disruption, they certainly should be asked to modify their behaviour to support, or at least respect, the overall guild atmosphere imo.

And if, after a fair amount of warning, they do not show a certain level of respect for the guild members and the atmosphere we want to create, we are well within our bounds to remove him, with the explanation that he is not a good fit.

And yes graw, I agree on an official talk with him on etiquette.

I really have No idea who this is, but agree on the warning

I know him from back then... I can talk to him if need be. Although he usually doesn't rep when I'm on for some reason.

Yuri Mortenzen wrote:I know him from back then... I can talk to him if need be. Although he usually doesn't rep when I'm on for some reason.

I was playing with him 2 days ago, he has a bank guild that hes trying to get influence or w/e is needed to get more bank space. But go ahead and talk to him


Tell him he can vent his nytri-ness on me in pm

I've played with him over the week-end. We went pvping and were on TS. He did talk to me about his tendencies of getting bossy and swearing when pvping. He's also told me he knows the guildies he used to pvp with are avoiding him now because of that... Apparently they use PM or map chat instead of Gchat so he doesn't notice they pvp... Anyway, he was very appologetic to me and the others "in advance" because he was a bit tipsy and he may have become bossy as we played on. But in the end, he was very courteous and helped out that new member on "how to pvp with my engi". He did speak while on TS but it was nothing compared to the main channel madness that goes on during guild missions. So yeah, I guess it depends on his intoxication level...

Sorry about the blank thing. It was supposed to be a placeholder message but "<>" isn't good for that apparently.

Sorry Syll, your post is empty, can you please edit or repost?

Do we have any updates on this?

He has not been playing as much lately.  He has been back the last few days, but is not as talkative.  I hear he can still get a bit annoying when drunk, but I have not heard any active complaining lately.  Possibly, because he has not been on as much or maybe has improved his verbal skills a bit.

He was fine last time I talked to him.

If he is still annoying when he is drunk then nothing has changed, and imo it's still our obligation and duty to do something IF this problem hasn't gone away.  But I think we should hear from a few more officers to see who has observed his behaviour at different times and can comment here for us, before we talk.

I really don't know him well so I am so fuzzy still on what his behaviour is like, so I don't have much more I can add.

We might have to actively remind some of our officers that we need them to visit the officer forums and participate in the discussions on a regular basis.

Honestly though, I'm of the opinion that if you can't behave in a proper social manner when drunk, maybe you shouldn't be in a social setting around other people when you drink.  

Sorry to sound like a dick here, but fun drunks are ok, silly drunks are ok, sloppy drunks are cool too.  I love Ratche's silliness when he is drunk, and Beez's complete inability to type or be not perverted when drunk, and Corn's adorable need to lay down and fix the room spins when tipsy.  

However, obnoxious or shitty or aggressive drunks aren't ok imo.  

I don't let people be a shit to my friends and family irl and use the "i was drunk" excuse, so why would I be ok with it for my online friends and family?

my 2c, nobody hate me pls <3

Concur with Kittyn

Seamon maybe you have had a run in with him.  He has recently re registered on TS after being gone for a while.  The name on TS in Nyt.  Have you had any conversations with him recently.

I would like to see how he is now that he has returned.  I'm not sure if my information is new or based on old feelings.  Since he has been gone so long, I doubt he has had much chance to make an ass of himself.  Nytri disappeared not long after I had my last talk with him.  

There are several people on Teamspeak that cause me to want to change channels.  But, I just get overwhelmed sometimes.  Or if I'm just putzing around and someone is rambling on about Arah or Fractals or something.  I just don't want to hear it.  Just because I don't want to hear a particular conversation does not make that conversation inherently bad.  Maybe we could get more in the habit of having focused conversations move to their own channel, that way the Lobby is free for casual conversation.  Even people I love like Krov, Midway, and Tommy when they are focused into a specific activity, their conversation can become quite annoying.

I was concurring with kittyn about drunk behavior in general I should have been clearer

I left my post empty for the time being because he had been gone for a while and was still gone until just recently. I've tried to talk to him a couple times but he hasn't responded (don't know if AFK or my messages lag or what) yet. I imagine he's going to be more self-contained for a while given things mentioned previously, but we should try to figure out where things stand at minimum.

personally i pretty much ignore him when I see him. I'm cordial to him but don't particularly like him so I try not to deal with him. I haven't had any run ins with him in a long time and I'd like to keep it that way. He's one of the few people I've been rude to in this game and don't enjoy that.

I try to be as nice as I can... but my friend Kevin (Popnfresh) was joking and he took it heart and left ts.. Kevin felt like a douche and went to apologize in the other channel he was in only to be shoved out to go away- he didn't mean it but does he really always take things that seriously or am I being majorly naive to certain things

Last night Nytri was not being belligerent or too much of a "know-it-all" but he was talking A LOT!  I had one person whisper me and say something along the lines of "does he ever stop talking?" 

Nytri whispered me after I left Teamspeak and was about to log off for the night.  I had told him when he returned from his absence that several people had asked about him.  When he whispered me, he said that he appreciated that I told him that, but he knows than a lot of people don't like him.

I replied that I think most people are OK with him most of the time, but I did relay the message that was sent to me.  (without a name of course)

He logged off shortly after that, so I couldn't follow up with more, or to try and make suggestions.  That may have been about the same time as what Inu is talking about.

I'm probably going to sit down and talk with him about things.

@Inu;
I'm fairly sure that he takes most things people say seriously and it's not anything new. I'm pretty sure that's why he also comments on pretty much everything (this is the main issue most have with him).

Also need to think about it from his perspective (this is going to cover why I hadn't posted). Before he left/had computer issues/whatever, he already knew people either didn't like him, didn't want to play/be around him, or both. Obviously, THAT is a problem for both him and everyone else, which I'll address in another point. Can you blame him for taking something that was literally in that mess, regardless of it being a joke?

Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't leave the guild with how everyone, including myself, has treated him so far. I'm pretty sure we're all aware there's RL stuff going on for him that bleeds over (drinking being the main thing). I know we've mentioned that we aren't here to rehabilitate someone but IMO, we've been pretty lacking in what we should be doing as people, regardless of guild status.

Next point. He was gone for 3 weeks. That is a long time regardless of why it happened. It was about halfway through the first of those that I actually got to ponder over everything regarding Nytri. I would say he knows that he is responsible for why people have the attitude they do towards him but he has vastly improved. The reason why I'm going to sit down down with him is that people are behaving like he never left and is still the same. Yes, he can be annoying and talk to much or make weird comments. That's something that doesn't require rehabilitation or whatever wording you want to use.

At this point, I can see him feeling worse than he did before. We should make an effort to let him know that we recognize he has changed, or at least made an effort to be better before deciding to pigeon-hole him back to how things were. I believe he can get to the point we'd all like if we actually try help him, instead of treating him like he shouldn't be here (which is honestly how it is, despite how much it sucks to admit).

I have to agree with you Syl. I know I can be nicer to him and will definitely be nicer to him. I know back in the day I would talk to him and he let slip something one night (Which I won't say here because I don't know if he wants everyone to know it) and it was causing him problems in life. Its hard for me to get past his attitude but I know personally I should make a better effort.

I don't really know Nytri well at all, but Timbo I wanted to chime in to say I love your post a lot, and I love that you're willing to show compassion

I don't do TS but let me know if there's anything I can do to help in any way

B E E Z wrote:I don't really know Nytri well at all, but Timbo I wanted to chime in to say I love your post a lot, and I love that you're willing to show compassion

I don't do TS but let me know if there's anything I can do to help in any way

I agree with beez here. Thank you spir for your perspective and insight. I don't know Nytri at all, and only know what I am told here or by other members. As such, I will follow your lead on this one, because it seems to be a very well thought-out perspective.

I am also here if you need help and/or assistance.

Syll wrote:I'm probably going to sit down and talk with him about things.

@Inu;
I'm fairly sure that he takes most things people say seriously and it's not anything new. I'm pretty sure that's why he also comments on pretty much everything (this is the main issue most have with him).

Also need to think about it from his perspective (this is going to cover why I hadn't posted). Before he left/had computer issues/whatever, he already knew people either didn't like him, didn't want to play/be around him, or both. Obviously, THAT is a problem for both him and everyone else, which I'll address in another point. Can you blame him for taking something that was literally in that mess, regardless of it being a joke?

Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't leave the guild with how everyone, including myself, has treated him so far. I'm pretty sure we're all aware there's RL stuff going on for him that bleeds over (drinking being the main thing). I know we've mentioned that we aren't here to rehabilitate someone but IMO, we've been pretty lacking in what we should be doing as people, regardless of guild status.

Next point. He was gone for 3 weeks. That is a long time regardless of why it happened. It was about halfway through the first of those that I actually got to ponder over everything regarding Nytri. I would say he knows that he is responsible for why people have the attitude they do towards him but he has vastly improved. The reason why I'm going to sit down down with him is that people are behaving like he never left and is still the same. Yes, he can be annoying and talk to much or make weird comments. That's something that doesn't require rehabilitation or whatever wording you want to use.

At this point, I can see him feeling worse than he did before. We should make an effort to let him know that we recognize he has changed, or at least made an effort to be better before deciding to pigeon-hole him back to how things were. I believe he can get to the point we'd all like if we actually try help him, instead of treating him like he shouldn't be here (which is honestly how it is, despite how much it sucks to admit).

He has improved quite a bit but my friend really didn't mean any harm, I haven't seen him on ts lately (or i havent been on cause school and work things) and I'm not sure if I should just let it go or not. However I agree with what you stated and I'm willing to continue and treat him as he should be treated. I can also do a better effort

Thank you Syll for putting a fresh perspective on this issue.  I think that was one of the problems.  We were attaching too many old feelings to a new situation.  He has improved greatly, and is making an effort.  We should acknowledge that.  I will try to be a little more friendly.  I probably could make an effort to politely poke him when he is rambling too much, instead of relaying a rude message.