Tips For The Holiday Season
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Logan
Kiera
6 posters
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Tips For The Holiday Season
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the centre of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the centre of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Kiera- Divine Light
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Guild : AoL
Number of posts : 3612
City : Northeast USA
Occupation : Pocket Monk
Hobbies : Chasing Dots
Registration date : 2008-07-22
Re: Tips For The Holiday Season
All I want to know is whether you have these 10 rules written down and stuck on your fridge. I agree with all of them. But you could say how fruitcake is a good sub for dodgeballs.
Logan- Light
-
Guild : AoL
Number of posts : 1021
Registration date : 2009-03-16
Re: Tips For The Holiday Season
Holiday emails are flying around at work today :p so those that make me laugh are getting posted!
Kiera- Divine Light
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Guild : AoL
Number of posts : 3612
City : Northeast USA
Occupation : Pocket Monk
Hobbies : Chasing Dots
Registration date : 2008-07-22
Re: Tips For The Holiday Season
Thats a damn good set of rules. I like.
Saint Alex- Level 9
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Guild : NoNe
Number of posts : 96
City : Carlisle
Occupation : Student
Hobbies : Breaking/Fixing my PC, Sport, PC/Console games
Registration date : 2009-11-22
Amberlyn- Light
-
Number of posts : 1571
Registration date : 2009-04-28
Re: Tips For The Holiday Season
As soon as I'm legal I will follow those to a t
Melannie Stryder- Light
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Guild : Army of Lightness
Number of posts : 1027
Occupation : Reading as many books as i can
Hobbies : running from dots
Registration date : 2009-10-31
Re: Tips For The Holiday Season
Nothing like a good drink at christmas, though I don't think you can get Eggnog over here
Vulpic- Level 12
-
Guild : RAiD
Number of posts : 120
City : Cardiff
Occupation : Student
Hobbies : Piano, Drums, SKIING, and PC Gaming
Registration date : 2009-11-14
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